Pent-up Sentiments

Words are very powerful things, and we are (or should be) well aware of that. Once you say or write or even email something to someone else, you can't take it back. If one doesn't choose her/his words properly, s/he can end up hurting somebody. As the Fox in The Little Prince said: "Language is the source of misunderstandings."

That is why there are certain things we would very much like to tell other people, but in the end we choose not to. Whether to maintain a reputation, or to avoid jeopardizing our relationship with others, it all boils down to not ruining the present status. This can happen in virtually any situation: constructive criticism for a certain work, a piece of advice to a friend, and even feelings for someone you really admire.

If we do choose to tell other people of these pent-up thoughts, we risk changing the way that the other person perceives us as. Sometimes, this change is for the better, but there are also times that relationships get dented because of words we have said. Some of us would rather bear the pain of anger or rejection at having told someone what's on our mind, than content themselves to thinking of the "what-ifs."

As for me, it still depends on the situation. I'm still very much conscious and particular of how other people see me as. I might be hindering someone's growth or well-being (including my own) because of what I don't say, but I would rather bear the pain of not saying what I want to say. The only danger that lies ahead, though, is that when I can't take the pain anymore, my outburst really overwhelms everyone, including myself. And I sometimes end up crying.

いそがしいですか。 (Are you busy?)

My current status message on Yahoo! Messenger reads: "Tsukareta. Isogashii desu. >.<", which roughly translates to "I'm tired. I'm busy." It's only the second week of the term, and we're already swamped with so much schoolwork. It's a bit tougher for me, because despite the fact that most of my subjects are general education ones, I have 3 units more than a lot of the graduating students.

Here's a rundown on what I've been busy with in school. Shaded circles indicate finished activities, while unshaded circles indicate my to-do list:

INTPHIL

• Introductory discussions on philosophy, its origins, etc., etc.
• Discussion on Plato's Allegory of the Cave and its symbolisms. We also did an activity which required us to draw our modern interpretation of the said allegory. Thankfully, this was done by groups.

• Advanced reading on Ancient Metaphysics (the article's 14 pages long! >.<)
• Review Chapter 1 for next meeting's continuation of the graded recitation

FILDLAR

• Discussion of the format and contents of our final output for the subject, which for all intensive purposes is a baby thesis written in the Filipino language
• Formation of groups, which will be permanent for all projects and other group activities. I seem to have gotten groupmates who have initiative. At least that's a plus for me, since I don't really know anyone from the class.

• Research on a baby thesis topic. We'll probably be researching on something related to math and/or its application to education since 2 of my groupmates are Education majors focusing on Math and the other is taking up BS Math.

LITERA1

• Reaction paper on The Music of Pestle-On-Mortar by Rosario Cruz Lucero. I think I blew this one. >.<
• Worksheet on 3 Philippine myths: Tungkung Langit and Alunsina, Pilandok, and How Asuang Steals Fire From Gugurang

• Finish reading the second part of Isagani Cruz's Ang Kasaysayan ng Literatura ng Pilipinas
• Write one reaction paper for each part of the abovementioned essay (which makes up a total of 2 reaction papers)
• Buy a copy of F. Sionil Jose's novel Ben Singkol and start reading it (I saw a copy in Powerbooks Greenbelt when I went there last Sunday.)

JAPALA1

• Familiarized ourselves with some common Nihongo greetings and expressions
• Learned how to tell the time (at least up to the accuracy of a half-hour) and date
• Familiarized ourselves with the hiragana in the あ (a), か (ka) and さ (sa) lines, and consequently learned the characters in the が (ga) and ざ (za) lines
• Discussed the は particle (though it is read as "ha" in most cases, it is pronounced as "wa" when used as a particle)
• Learned how to use です (desu) and じゃありません (ja arimasen) in a sentence
• Learned how to count from 1 to 99, as well as how to say our age
• Learned how to ask questions by using the か (ka) particle
• Learned the も (mo) particle
• Had a short quiz on the hiragana characters we've learned

• Do the れんしゅう (renshuu/exercise) in Lesson 1
• Study the next hiragana characters in advance (that is, if I still have the time)

STPROF1

• Reviewed the concepts of Object-Oriented Programming
• Tried to digest whatever Sir Calen said about Object-Oriented Design and smelly code :P

• Read about collections
• Study for this Saturday's quiz >.<

THSST-3

• Fixed up the documentation, and added a skeleton for the additional parts needed

• Improve user interface
• Documentation, documentation, documentation >.<
• Any other thing that my thesismates might ask me to do

Wow. Yes, it is just the second week of school. I know this isn't some bad dream I'm having.